This is the trap. We withhold affection as a negotiation tactic. We think: When she stops criticizing my job, I will be kind. When she validates my feelings, I will call more.
That is the second lesson of showering a mother with love: She wasn't crying because I was being nice. She was crying because she had been lonely for years and had convinced herself she didn't care. Week Three: The Habit Forms By day eighteen, something shifted. The love no longer felt like a performance. It felt like a habit. after a month of showering my mother with love fix
But after a month of showering my mother with love, I realized that waiting for the other person to change first is a recipe for a lifetime of silence. The first seven days were excruciating. Showering my mother with love felt like wearing a wool sweater in July. It was itchy, forced, and unnatural. This is the trap
It is you.